Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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