it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
