I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
