I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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