The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
