Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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