are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
