once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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