I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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