I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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