She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
