Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
