is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Randomize
