Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
