You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
