she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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