I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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