i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The Olympian is in my bed
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