party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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