i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
false alarm, still single
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
