You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
