Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
