Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
