I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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