I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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