It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
