Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
