I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
cat food counts as protein by the way
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
