forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
