if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
