Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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