You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
