no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
