I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
