he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
