No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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