turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
