butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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