dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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