i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
