o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
