margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
