Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
