so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
