Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
