Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
