Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
