I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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