He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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