like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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